Well, I never really wanted to do a page like this, after all, it appears to be a bit tacky, but I had some nice photos of some of my friends, so I decided to do this page. This will also give Katie (Hi Katie) a chance to see some of my friends, whom I'm sure she will describe as "mad"

Paul Ferguson

Ok, this guy is my best friend, so Hi Paul. He's the same age as me, more or less (at the time of writing, he was 17, I was 16, but my birthday was in like a couple of weeks)

I don't know how long I've known Pilchard, he's made that much of an impact on me, but he can't help being so short. It doesn't matter that he's actually taller than me, Pilchard is the midget.

Richard "Pilchard" Price

It's only recently that Pilchard and I have really had a chance to become friends. While he was in my standard grade Maths and English classes, we didn't sit anywhere near each other (actually, that's a lie, we were quite close in Maths), so we didn't talk. But come higher, he was in every single one of my bloody classes (except English), and I sat next to him in nearly every single one, so we had to talk, and luckily, we liked each other (oh so very much)....

Hooray, for 'tis Duncan, or Captain Twatto, or SuperGeek, or "No Duncan, we don't want to listen to that midi of tubular bells again" as he's more commonly known.

I've known Duncan since third year, when I used to go to BAYS, because there was a girl I fancied who went to it (hey Sam, how's life?). BAYS is the British Association of Young Scientists. It was fun, not least because I got the girl and learned through the magics of science ways to save the world (yes, because making honeycomb will help me foil some evil dictator). Anywho, Duncan stuck to me, and has been a friend since, well, I say friend, what I mean is the guy I keep with me because he's the only person near my age I can find who is just a tad shorter than me (and also because I like you Duncan, sure I do.....)

Ahh, Martin. My second love. Well, maybe I didn't love him like that (he just would not let me, no matter how hard I tried), but I did love him in a purely platonic sense, but if he'd wanted sex, well, I don't suppose I'd have minded

And then after many years of us being close friends, he announced "Right then, I'm off to Canadia, have a good life". It wasn't quite like that, but it felt like that. So, he's in Canadia, probably as drunk as he looks in the less than flattering photo of him on this site. He didn't always look that bad, sometimes he wore a mask.

Giovanni "Captain Stupid" Bruno

Hooray, Captain Stupid himself. You have no idea how hard it was to get a photo of him, but thankfully I finally got one of him earlier today, on his way to the gym. Hee hee, Gio in shorts, prancing around like a twat...

Gio is a great friend, but not only that, he is a great target for insults, and be doesn't seem to be offended at all. I'm sure it would be possible to hurt him, but really, I don't want to, because that wouldn't be nice, and he might stop being my friend, and then who else could I take the piss out of every time I see him?

Samantha Leigh Lyons-Burnham

This is quite possibly my favourite American of all time. Of course, counting Americans I have met consists of her, and her immediate family, so obviously she'd be pretty high up on the list of favourite Americans. She wins, simply because she used to let me kiss her.

I know I asked her for a quite silly photo, but sticking a Colander on your head and calling yourself Spatula Girl is just ridiculous. Maybe it makes sense to Americans though, I mean, they enjoy American Football, and eating so much that they die of Obesity, not that I can talk much, living in Scotland, which has the highest rate of heart attacks in Europe. Wooh, come to Scotland, like a second home to Americans, and you'll see men in skirts....